Saturday, 17 October 2015

How I Am Trying to Find Myself While Travelling

People around me often ask why I like to travel so much and why I spend my money on train, bus and aeroplane tickets rather than on clothes and makeup. I could never answer these questions in just one sentence.

I've always been very interested in what my ancestors were like. Where did they live, and how? What were their lives like during the wars? Was any of them on the Titanic? Do I have relatives in countries where I'd never think of? Are my unknown relatives amazing/inspiring/loving/travellers like me? 

 I love listening to stories on how amazing families others have, or how they reunited with their lost-lost family members.. I love these way too much! I did my best to find my relatives living in another country, and after years of trying, I finally succeeded! But I never managed to meet them, or even talk to them - they wouldn't answer my messages. Can you imagine my disappointment?
 But! I didn't ever give up finding out the things I always wanted to know - where my family comes from, what I am capable of, what I am truly like, and where my path leads me to.

 So many questions, right? Well.. these are all questions travelling gives an answer to. 

 In this post, I'm not telling you how travelling has changed me or my life, maybe in another post. 
 Instead, I'm do telling you about some of the answers.

 Along my way, I've found out that my family came from Austria, from a town near Linz. This actually surprised me: I've been to Linz, more than 6 years ago, and I fell in love with that city, eventhough it's not as popular as lots of places in the country. I've always had a strong connection with Austria, but ever since then, it sometimes feels like my real home. Not like I didn't love Hungary tons, but still. 

 Also, there's everything in Austria that I truly love - wondeful turquoise lakes, huge snowcapped mountains, pine forests, and amazing food!
There was still an important question unanswered - how did my relatives live? Turns out they lived just the way I always dreamed.. on the mountain, near pine forests, with a little creek in the garden. I want that! I'm also learning to speak German, and I'm great at it!

I've also been to England several times, and fell in love with the country immediately! For the first time during my travels, I could feel like I can be totally myself in a foreign country.. I'm not considered to be stupid for loving rain and cooler weather, I can drink as much tea instead of coffee as I like, there are so many historical sights a life is not enough to see all of them. Wonderful nature, amazing architecture, breathtaking history, uniqueness and the feeling that I might belong here.

During my travels, I've also realised how much I like my hometown, Budapest. Sometimes, I wish it was better, nicer, improved, cheaper, livelier, but most of the time, I just love it the way it is, because now I know that many other places are poorer/worse/more expensive/more undeveloped. And well, because no matter how unforgettably wonderful my travel was, it always feels great to see Budapest's silhouette again.

 Is that possible to have three homes? Because I want them all!

I'm also constantly finding answers to who I am: what I am like, what I like, what interests me, what I'm afraid of, what inspires me. I'm motivated.
I've found out that I'm capable of so much more than I tought, I can fight my demons, and I can create a life I truly love.
I'm also formed by the people who I meet during my travels, and those who accompany me on my trips. This might be a cliché, but I no longer care about 'where' my path leads me to in life, but about with 'whom', and 'how'.

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